Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
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It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
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