2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
