If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
