things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
