omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
