1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize