Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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