i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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