Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
