So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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