Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
