i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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