so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
