he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize