So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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