I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
