Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize