I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize