She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
