I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dick very happy bro
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
