I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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