he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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