Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
