do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
