thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
