Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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