if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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