yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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