If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
