When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
