i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
