now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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