No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
