I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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