I accidentally had phone sex last night
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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