i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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