i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
