i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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