if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
