Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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