And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
