You're my little dorito
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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