I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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