Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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