I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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