who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's blow job season.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
