i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
