Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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