The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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