The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
