Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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