please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I love you.
Bad choice
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
