Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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