somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
