Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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