she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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