She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
