I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
