so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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