in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
