similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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