Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize