Midget sex pt 2 tonight
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
