You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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