I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
