So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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