Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
