look no pants
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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