When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
