So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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