I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
