well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
