its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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