And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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